Monday, October 27, 2008

I made it back in one piece....phew!!!

I made it back...I'm not quite sure, but I made it back. I can't believe I was there for 8 days. It only seemed like a few hours. Ok, maybe I should start from the beginning and explain.

Last week, the 17th to be exact, I was simply checking my e-mail when I saw something interesting in my inbox. It was an e-mail from Jeff W. Not any ordinary e-mail, but one with an interesting audio attachment. As I read through the e-mail, the instructions specifically said, "So following your run and while your cooling down join Mickey, Donald, and Goofy as they play ghost buster to some bothersome spooks on my audio overlay of the Tower of Terror."

Now I've always been a bit of an impatient person and I thought to myself, "Why wait until you're done?? It can't hurt to get a little sneak peak of Jeff's most recent contribution. I'll listen to it while warming up and stretching before my run." Looking back on it I realize...this was a mistake.

I put my i-pod on and hit play as I begin to stretch out my hamstrings, then suddenly, I hear a loud pop and everything goes black. As I begin to come to I hear a ringing in my ear and I realize that it's a telephone. I still can't see a thing, so I begin to feel around. Suddenly, I realize that I'm in a closet and the telephone is on the other side of the door. Slowly I open the door and to my surprise I see Mickey, Donald, and Goofy wrestling to answer it. "Oh my god...I'm in the Ajax Ghost Exterminator's office...and I'm in Technicolor!!!!"

As I try to figure out how this could have possibly happened, I hear a loud booming voice come out of nowhere. Is that Rod Serling?? "You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension - a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into the Twilight Zone."'s Rod Serling.

"Who are you??" inquires Goofy.

"I....I...I'm Heath." Is all I can mutter.

"Great. Nice to meet ya Heath. We could use some help on this job we just got," says Mickey.

"Wanna come?" asks Donald.

"Sure...why not?"

Off we go in the Ajax Ghost Exterminating mobile. As the van pulls up to a decrepit old house, I start to get a little nervous. We head inside and I accompany Donald to the second floor. We both start to hear strange noises, but can't find a source. After nosing around for a few minutes I see Donald suddenly start shadow boxing, but I don't' see what he's swinging at. Realizing that things are starting to get strange I decide it's time to head for the hills. As I head down the hall to make my way to the stairs I run into Goofy wrestling with a dresser, and he's blocking the stairway. I quickly look for an alternate means of escape and I spot a rickety old service elevator.

This was probably not a great decision either, but hey...I was desperate. I jump into the elevator and hit L for lobby. Now from the outside this house certainly looked to be only 2 stories...but in the twilight zone...anythings possible. The elevator shoots up about 75 feet, then comes crashing down, stopping just before making impact with the ground level.

I'm now completely freaked out and frantically looking for an exit when I spot what appears to be three gooey white ghosts. (I don't realize at the time that it is actually three very sticky ghost exterminators covered in molasses and flour.) This puts a little giddy up in my step and now I'm off and running, out the door and down the street. I find myself heading down the street and right back into town. I don't slow down until I find myself back at the Ajax office. It was a full 8.25 miles, and I made the trip in an hour and fifty-seven minutes.

As I enter the office, Mickey, Donald, and Goofy are back already and cleaning up from their messy endeavor. They explain what happened and thank me for my help. (Did I help?) They ask me if I need a drink after that long run back to the office. I gratefully accept a tug off of their bottle of Iowa's Finest Corn Whiskey. As I knock it back I hear another loud pop and again...everything goes black.

I come to and I realize that I'm laying at the foot of my driveway. What happened?? Did I electrocute myself with my i-pod?? Did I get hit by a car?? A quick self-survey shows that all limbs are in place and I feel fine. Maybe I just fainted?? As I get to my feet, the mail man pulls up and hands me today's mail. October 25th???? But it's October 17th...isn't it??? How did I lose 8 days?? It was all a dream right?? As I turn to walk up the driveway I see the empty bottle of corn whiskey feet. Wow...did I really just make it back from....the twilight zone!?!?!?!?