Thursday, December 18, 2008

Christmas Lights


Excuse me while I opine about Christmas Lights. As I drove home the other night I thought to myself; "what are some people thinking when they make the very important decision as to what kind of exterior illumination the will subscribe to during this most holy of seasons??"

When it comes to Christams Lights, I feel that there are certain rules that must be subscribed to:

Rule #1 THEY ARE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS NOT HOLIDAY LIGHTS!!
I could write a 5 page post just on this topic, but I will summarize my position here by noting that if you celebrate Hanukkah, you have Hanukkah lights...if you celebrate Kwanza, you have Kwanza lights...I celebrate Christmas, therefore I have Christmas lights.

Rule #2 PICK A THEME AND STICK TO IT!!
There are two options here; white and multicolored. A strand of all blue, all red, all green, etc...is not acceptable. If you decide to go with all white lights...that is classy and regal. If you decide to go with multicolored lights...that is fun and traditional. If you mix the two, side by side...you're and idiot.

Rule #3 CANDLES CAN ONLY BE WHITE!!
If you have candles in your window, they must be white. Red candles are scary, anything else is weird.

Rule #4 NO L.E.D.'s!!
Unless you have a scale model of Cinderella's Castle in your yard and it is covered in such a way to give the impression of a snow covered castle, dont' use LED's. They are immediately obvious and offensive to the eye. Technology is not always a good thing.

Rule #5 BLINKING LIGHTS ARE A CREATION OF THE DEVIL!!
Unless you want to see if that annoying neighbor really does have epilepsy...don't use blinking lights. The different strands almost never blink in sync and they drive me friggin' nuts. *Note* The one exception to this rule is if you have your lights syncronized to some kind of Christmas musical score. That is cool!!






Rule #6 THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MANY LIGHTS!!
If you are in compliance with rules 1-5 know that the more the merrier!! Just ask Clark W. Griswold and his, "250 strands of lights, 100 individual bulbs per strand for a grand total of 25,000 imported Italian twinkle lights."





Merry Christmas Everyone!!!

2 comments:

Jeff said...

I disagree somewhat with rule number 2. One a strand of single colored lights can be appealing unless they are all red. For years one of my favorite homes is on a corner lot in Des Moines.

It'a a ranch style home with a half circle driveway. Everything is done in green. Landscaping lights, window frames, the gutters, and finally a green tree in the center front window. Its sounds like overkill but it is very tastefully done and the result is it looks very peaceful.

I never used to be a fan of all blue lights. But done in a simple manner they are not bad. Also not a fan of those icicle hanging lights. But if used those should only be white and never another color.

Matt said...

This sounds like a rant for the rant blog!

I have to disagree with rule number 2 and 4 somewhat. If done tastefully and sparingly, single color strands can be nice. Same with mixing multicolored and white lights. As long as one is the main theme, it works well.

LED's are pretty to me. They're brighter and look cleaner. They can be too bright, but as long as the light has the "cap" on it, it's not to bad.

All of your other rules are right on! Great Job!!!

P.S. Just an observation, but my Word Verification for this post is "Spity". Very Weird!